Dear Mr./Ms./? Universe,

Per Stevie’s suggestion, I am writing my New Year’s letter to the Universe. What is it that I want out of this great big beautiful world this decade? What is it that I am grateful to already possess? Being here has alerted me to the incredible miracle of my existence. I am blessed beyond my understanding, but for the grace of colliding genomes or conspiring deities go I. It’s easy to assume that these blessings are noticed now only in the stark contrast of poverty and disadvantage that I live in, as if privilege casts a glow discernable only in the darkness of need. That’s not quite true. Yes being here has helped me appreciate the material circumstances of my life – my education, my financial security, my American passport. But it has also helped me to discover the other more valuable blessings that litter my world. These things are not so easily linked to economic status or geographic location.

Like a true Oscar winner, let me first recognize my family and friends, guides and mentors. Both in America-land and here in Zambia, I have continually been surrounded by those who love me. Everyone always says they’re grateful for friends and family. It’s kind of one of those automatic likes necessary for membership in the human race, together with puppies and hot-from-the-oven cookies. But you don’t always realize that gratitude until you’re alone in a hut with your thoughts and your memories and the knowledge that there’s a whole web of people out there who only wish you well. It’s a wonderful, wrapped-up, cozy feeling, contemplating that web. In the world of instant, intrusive communication, such a network can be taken for granted or resented as entangling. From here I can see only the benefits, this primordial support system as old as mankind. I talk to my network (side note: Verizon has totally ruined that word for me. All I can see is the ‘Can you hear me now?’ guy) less here but I cherish its members more.

There are other blessings that I can now name, inherent things I have unearthed since arriving and new things that have grown into my person in this African soil. I am braver than I thought. I believe that most of us have a greater capacity for daring and adventure than our closed-in existence allows us to express. I am blessed with the opportunity to test the boundaries of ability again and again. I am blessed with health and more importantly, when my blessing of health fails me, with a young body that can recover stronger than before. I am blessed with a wandering mind and the time to let it explore whichever nook or alleyway it desires. I am blessed with a hard-won and ever-morphing spirituality that endures exposure to all that is both banal and evil in the world and still finds ways to fill moments with giggle-inducing joy. These gifts have been intensified by my socio-economic position but not produced by them. These are the gifts that the Universe has sent with me on this journey and I strive everyday to be worthy of their company. You shouldn’t cast pearls before swine. Neither should you be swine behind your pearls.

Now that tangent is over. Back to the original goal: to ask the universe what I want out of this shiny 2010. For the sake of space, let’s eliminate the unrealistic ones – the ability to fly, doing a handstand in yoga, a singing voice. Then the beauty pageant answers – world peace, a cure for AIDS, a zero calorie sweeter that doesn’t give you cancer.

Where does that leave us? I want my loved ones at home to be happy, healthy and fulfilled. One of the hardest parts of Peace Corps service is the separation from all of you. Take care of yourselves and seek out every opportunity for joy you can. It’s cliché to say that life’s too short not to, but I’m thinking that with a letter to the Universe I’m already to far enough into the cliché hole to say the hell with it.

I ask that the Universe to keep giving me new experiences; new chances to see existence from fresh eyes. I ask for more laughter on transport, more skipping down dirt paths, more rainy mornings with tea and crosswords, more hijinxs with the children who alternately drive me crazy and keep me sane. I ask the Universe for more moments with Zambia. I ask for a renewed urge to write, and the elusive ability to have these words move closer to the reality I desire them to express. I ask for the humility to accept that as impossible. I ask to continue learning with a sense of wonder and I ask not to fall into the fate of jaded misanthropes like so many starry-eyed seekers before me. I ask to leave off my flowery verbal ramblings occasionally – if only for the sake of my practicality-loving friends who are surely rolling their eyes right now.

Oh and Universe, if in the process, some cute new clothes, a mint green Vespa, beach-front vacations, and other what-nots a 23-year-old girl desires should happen to fall my way I wouldn’t be opposed. Just saying.

As usual, I have mentioned little specific to Zambia. I’ll try to put another day-in-the-life post up soon. This blog has always been more of a way to bring you along on my personal journey than to take on the monumental and egocentric task of reducing Zambian culture to a sporadic, one-page blog entry. Sorry for boring all of you loved ones who read out of obligation. For others, hope you’re enjoying the ravings of my mefloquine-addled, craft-addicted brain. Thanks for reading this. Fingers crossed, the Universe did too.